Within the time span of a week, I had visited the InstaCare, my private physician, the ER, and an OBGYN all for a sharp pain in my lower back. At first, the InstaCare falsely diagnosed me with a UTI, prescribed me some medicines, then sent me on my way. I had the same outcome two days later when I visited my private physician. I knew that something wasn't right with my body and that something bigger was happening.
One evening I went to bed and couldn't seem to get comfortable. The pain in my back was so sharp and persistent. It got to the point where the pain was so debilitating that I couldn't even sit up or walk. Being terrified and feeling like I was going to die, I tried to wake up my husband so he could take me to the emergency room. Being the deep sleeper and easy going person he is, he didn't take me seriously and just fell back asleep, thinking I was being dramatic. Thankfully, we live with my parents and I knew my mom would help me (if only I could manage the strength to get myself up the stairs and to her room). After about ten minutes of tears, struggling, and tremendous pain, I FINALLY made it to my parents room (now looking back, why didn't I just call her?)... We drove to the ER, got checked in, and waited....and waited....and waited some more.... Once I got to see the doctor, they said I might have a kidney stone. Long story short, I got a CT and all was clear and there were no stones. BUT, they did say that I had an abnormal amount of fluid around and in my uterus and it was caused by the bursting of an ovarian cyst. BINGO! I was so relieved to receive a partial explanation as to why I was experiencing so much pain.
They recommended I see an OBGYN to figure out why I was having ovarian cysts. And, as you can guess from the title of this blog post, I got diagnosed with Endometriosis. For those of you who don't know what endometriosis is, it is when the endometrium (the stuff that lines the inside of your uterus), lines the outside of your uterus instead. The displaced endometrial tissue buildup outside the uterus (which has no way to exiting the body) is what causes the pain and endometriomas (cysts).
Now that I've given you the introduction to my post, here are the 5 things I have learned since being diagnosed with Endometriosis:
1. PAIN IS CONSTANT
The doctors told me that the pain would mainly be during menstruation and ovulation. This was the most misleading information they could've given me. I know that every case of endometriosis is different, but ever since my first cyst, I've had pain constantly and a little warning would've been nice. The pain varies depending on the day. Some days I only notice when I bend over or exercise, but on days that the pain is bad, even laying down is painful.
2. THERE IS MORE THAN JUST PHYSICAL STRUGGLE
One thing that the doctor didn't fail to emphasize, was that I would struggle with getting pregnant AND, if my endometriosis became more advanced, I could become infertile. Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I knew that it was my divine destiny to raise children and that they would be my full time job, never doubting my abilities to conceive. There is going to be a very long journey in getting my children here now, a larger challenge than previously anticipated. It is emotionally draining to want and dream for something for so long, to be told that your dreams may not be achievable. However, I am hopeful in defying the odds and achieving my dreams!
3. DON'T EXPECT PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND
Unless you've experienced endometriosis yourself, it is close to impossible to explain the physical pain to others. The same can be applied to any chronic disease or illness. After finding out, I experienced the most frustration with my husband because he just "didn't understand"! Now looking back, I realize that it was selfish of me to expect him to understand because there is no way he could relate or begin to comprehend what I was going through (unless he magically grew a uterus and got endometriosis, which gratefully, will never happen!). But, he did do his best to help me out and continues to help me on my bad days. He doesn't need to understand, he just needs to continue to care.
4. MY PAST WAS DEFINED BY ENDOMETRIOSIS
This pain and struggle wasn't a new concept for me. Although the symptoms have now intensified, I always had issues from the get-go. Everything about my monthly visits from dear mother nature was irregular. Menstruation lasted abnormally long (longest being 42 days!), and the cramping was so terrible that I would protest going to school or going to any of my routine/daily activities. Now looking back at my struggles, I can now see all the symptoms and signs pointing directly to endometriosis. It would've been nice to know back when my pain and irregularities became prevalent, but everything happens for a reason and at the right time... right?
5. MY FUTURE IS NOT DEFINED BY MY ENDOMETRIOSIS
Even though endometriosis has no cure and is a life-long disease, there is still so much to look forward to and live for. When I first was diagnosed I felt like I was in a dark and deep pit with no ladder or light (a bit dramatic, I know). But now I see that even though there is pain, both emotional and physical, my life can still be filled with joy, love, dreams, goals, and life. If my dreams of having my own children aren't fulfilled, I know that there are still precious souls out there who will need a mother to love them. My husband is my greatest joy in life and no matter what happens, I will always have him by my side. Despite my imperfect body that has issues, there is still so much in life to be grateful for.
Thanks for reading on Larsen Lane Blog! If you have any experiences to add or share, please comment!
